Reflection

In the last 8 weeks, I’ve crossed one ocean and one sea and have traveled to and through more than 30 cities and towns by plane, bus, car, boat, and van.  I’ve slept in 14 different beds, including a plane, two tents, a boat, two vans, a guesthouse, a hotel, and 6 houses. I’ve peed in more bushes than toilets and have bathed in everything from seawater to rainwater, from treated water to freshwater streams. I’ve seen dolphins, whales, seals, sea lions, stingrays, bioluminescent phytoplankton, penguins, wallabies, frogs, water dragons, and a wide variety of different bird species, including owls, kookaburras, keas, tuis, pelicans and albatross.  I’ve met countless people from all areas of the globe, several of whom I now call friends.  And I’ve only just begun.

This adventure began as a seed planted in my brain many, many years ago. That seed didn’t begin to grow until Spring of this year when enough courage, confidence, circumstance, and most of all, support, gathered together to motivate me.

2009 was a year of transformation for me. I gained a large amount of confidence and gumption, and finally broke into the adventurous woman I’ve always wanted to be. Whether snow-shoeing, skiing, rock-climbing, camping, or hiking, or even just developing deeper friendships, I began to realize my past perceived limitations were purely based on fear, and that I am more than capable of achieving anything I put my mind to. My involvement in Higher Ground Youth Challenge had a large role in this personal growth. We teach the kids that with 100% intention and a supportive community they will reach their goals. I suppose you can repeat something only so many times before it starts to sink in to your own psyche.

In early May, I met a couple people who, despite serious health concerns and personal strife, continue to live their dreams, traveling the world for exploration and conservation purposes. They reminded me that life is precious and short, and we never know what fate awaits us. Rather than waiting for the right time – whatever that was supposed to look like – I decided to get off my tucus and make my dream happen now. And here I am.

Thus far into the trip, my travels have been admittedly self-indulgent. I have had new adventures almost every day and am continuously transported into stunning scenery and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. After the initial excitement of the trip has worn off, I find myself still wondering about the purpose behind my journey. I have met many wonderful people, some of whom have greatly impacted my life, and some whose lives I have apparently changed, as well. I participated in a 3-day sailing voyage with a group of Vanuatuan and Maori men, among others. I bonded with one of the younger Maori men while singing Disney showtunes together (there was a lot of down time on the boat and I hadn’t packed a book). He was so inquisitive about the world, and about the U.S., in particular. I was humbled by his eager curiosity, realizing that my egocentric assumption that the world knows all about the U.S. is clearly incorrect.  And he reminded me to view the new people and places I encounter with unjaded eyes. In return, I told him a bit of what I know about the world, and particularly my home country. He told me I am “one of the coolest and bravest chics I’ve ever met” – a compliment that I can’t understand, but am wholly grateful for.

If this journey serves no other purpose but to impact some of the lives I encounter, then I can only be pleased with the outcome. It feels entirely arrogant to say that, but it also feels entirely selfish to say that I hope this journey has a large impact on my own life. I’m hoping for some clarity from this adventure, as I find myself mulling over the question of what I’d like my life to look like. Shall I watch the news to stay aware of the suffering around me? Or shall I keep the TV off to stay blissfully ignorant? In other words, do I live my life traveling the world to serve those less fortunate? Or do I settle down in one place, gather a home, family, and material goods around me, and live my life ignoring the constant reminder in my head of the suffering and needs of others? Where is the balance? I may grapple with these questions for the rest of my life.

For now, let’s see what the next 8 weeks bring.